The general cadre of hardworking stiffs on the desktop were stunned this week as new revelations of inproprieties forced upon the most innocent and vulnerable of their numbers. Shocking pics of Miss N, the Purple tressed Godess of the Board rooms and general around swell gal, has been moonlighting as a spokes model for seedy energy beverages. The transfiguration of this playful nymph, known for her cheery smile and up-beat quips, into a sex kitten of the celluloid screen is so bizzare as to raise questions as to who might be the architect of the transmogrification.
Although evidence is sparse that has not stopped tongues from wagging and fingers from pointing at the mysterious Mr. F, recently returned from over seas.
CEO Mr. M was circumspect in him comments but went on to say that “The Rat wasn’t himself since he came back”, citing the string of unidentifiable fleshy object hung on his office wall and his propensity to eat nothing but hummas on toast.
I s he the new Svengali behind this seduction of the innocent? Though evidence is lacking DOP is not afraid to say DAMN RIGHT HE IS!
Mr. F was in seclusion and could not be reached for comment, the lieing bastard!
It was less than boring when the Board met!
All is not well in the sacred board rooms of the Desktop. CEO, Mr. Moai, has called to together his closeest staff.
Senior VP in charge of sitting beside the door, Mr. L. Dog says that he ” has identified the problems within the corporate structure and, although he is in no way responsible for its short comings, he has launched an investigation using a battery of high priced contractors that everything is under control though you probably have much better ideas for handling the problems, whatever they might beand why was he called in here anyway? “
At the same time the silence from the direction of Senior VD Economist, Mr. Arthur Wizard, is as palpable as the room is illuminated by the Disco Ball lights of his “All Seeing Greenspan orb of eternal truth”. Occasionally he strokes his beard and knods sagely, all techniques that have advanced him to his lofty position ( and streamlined his grooming techniques as well).
Mr. Moai is stoic to the point of Granite like silence, an annoying habit he has that occasionally causes Mr. Dog to soil the carpet.
Meanwhile Mr. Meanie plot revenge in his cubicle and Mr. Fink’s imminant arrival cause much buzzing around the water cooler
After a successful career in money Management for Goldman Sachs and selling long term Energy leases for Enron Mr. S found it difficult to find himself a new position appropriate to his skills and pay grade. Before coming to the Desktop he was working at a Wendy’s drive thru, that is until he was caught selling Burger and Fry “Futures” on the side while lacing his Frosty with Ecstasy and a low grade Marsupial tranquilizer.
His intial application as director of finance was rejected in a most violent manner until it was revealed that he was, in fact, Mr. F’s half brother. Now he is ensconced in a corner office where, behind closed and locked doors, he works his financial wizardry. His methods are often accompanied by the smell of rotten eggs and unidentifiable vitriol damaging the carpet under his office door.
There are concerns…